Living with Vitality: How to Manage Your Energy in a Depleting World

Note to reader: I wrote this article at the tail end of my second trimester of my first pregnancy. My husband had been in Africa on a work trip for almost a month (with little to no service for us to connect), and the U.S. presidential election was imminently looming in the background. Its chatter resembled that of a pesky fly sneaking in through a slit in the door—there was no escaping the buzz, which demanded a subtle but constant attention. This sensation, which I can only describe as a hypervigilance to the modern world’s relentless demands, is something so many of us have become accustomed to. Our collective lack of vitality is our culture’s symptom of hyperindividualism, hyperproductivity, and late-stage capitalism. Trust me…it’s not a ‘you’ thing, it’s a ‘we’ thing.

In my personal experience, pregnancy has amplified everything. My awareness feels more attuned, my sensitivities heightened, and my ability to distract myself from things that don’t serve me—personal relationships, projects, social commitments—has become almost impossible. It feels as though the noise has turned down, yet the brightness has turned up. With the purest form of life force—the growth of a human being—living within me, I am being called to thoughtfully consider how I want to relate to my energy and capacity, and how those actions might serve as a model for other creatives and leaders who are in service to others.

I am editing this article at the start of the new year. Southern California has been ravaged by wildfires, next Tuesday marks the transition of presidential power, and my own imminent, full-hearted initiation into motherhood is just weeks away. As I sit in my expanded body, cocooned in the warmth and comfort of my bed, I am struck by the paradox of being human. Life has felt both celebratory and undetermined—festive yet fraught with a lack of security. Like a snow globe shaken countless times over these past years, I have no clear sense of where the fragments will finally settle or take root.

What I can do is keep my eyes wide and my heart open, holding the polarities of hopelessness and hopefulness as they grow up alongside one another. What I can do is continue to focus on what’s in my locus of control, getting all the more curious even when I am too exhausted, too angry, or too heartbroken to keep going. I know I have to put one foot in front of the other.

As someone who seeks spiritual answers in times of wild chaos and uncertainty, I find peace in the deep understanding that systems must crumble, break, and even explode to lay the foundation for true flourishing. And, flourishing can only occur collectively, when each of us takes the time and space to nurture our unique vitality.

A few years back, I stumbled upon the word acedia in Sarah Wilson’s book This One Wild and Precious Life. Acedia is a term rooted in ancient philosophy, describing a state of listlessness, apathy, and a deep-seated indifference to one’s place in the world. When I first read the definition, it was as if I’d been slapped in the face. There was a sense of both rejection and recognition within me, as if a part of my soul had been named—and it wasn’t a pleasant realisation.

As an entrepreneur, CEO, and female creative guiding other business owners and leaders, I’m surrounded by people who care a lot—maybe too much. We do too much, hold too much, and chase purpose as if it’s an elusive spark that will slip through our fingers if we let up for even a second. Many of us have been told we were born with one unique offering—a special spark we have to discover and deliver on in our lifetime. But in our pursuit of this spark, we often deplete our vitality, creating what Elizabeth Gilbert describes as “purpose anxiety” in her recent podcast interview with Tim Ferriss. We place an enormous emphasis on productivity, a drive further intensified by the systems and cultures around us. We compromise our state of being to ensure our doing is enough. We believe we need to make a mark on the world, while the earth’s own rumblings—expressed through wildfires, floods, and rising temperatures—signal that she’s possibly had enough.

The concept of acedia dates back to early Christian monasticism, where it was seen as a spiritual affliction marked by indifference—a kind of soul-fatigue. Today, it appears as burnout, overwhelm, and the exhaustion of constantly swimming upstream in a world that demands more than we can give. Even if we conquer our to-do lists, a deeper malaise often lingers. Modern life’s relentless pace leaves little room for the stillness needed for true reflection, creativity, and growth. We may continue to function and go through the motions, but without vitality—the time to pause, create space, and reflect—our sense of aliveness fades.

Two months ago, I reached out to an old professor of mine from graduate school who is now 94 years old. I had thought of him during a podcast interview and felt compelled to check in after years without contact. My quick but loving email received a response within hours—his words carrying the weight of a lifetime’s experiences. He wrote, “Thank you, Allie, for your gracious remembering—well, at 94 years of age, I am living my final stage of life. Two months ago, Leonie, my dear wife of fifty years, died of kidney cancer—so I am counting the days—and holding deep gratitude for the bountiful blessings of life that I have been granted—and I offer my enthusiastic good wishes to the little boy inside of you who will carry forward this miraculous saga of human beings on planet earth—I send my warm blessings.” Even as he navigates the final stages of life and the grief of losing his beloved wife, he finds a way to hold onto gratitude and send blessings forward. His words are a testament to the vitality that comes from living with intention, presence, and a deep appreciation for the journey, even when faced with loss. My professor’s ability to find meaning in hardship reminds us that vitality is not just about energy or productivity—it’s about how fully we engage with life, no matter where we are on our journey.

Reclaiming Vitality: 6 Practical Steps to Re-energise Your Life

The antidote to this modern affliction is not in doing more but rather in learning to do less—restoring our well-being through intentional actions. Here is a list of ideas to help reclaim your vitality:

Start your day by asking, “How full is my inner well today?” Reflect on your energy levels, mental clarity, and emotional state on a scale of 1 (empty/depleted) to 10 (full/energised). Awareness is the first step to making meaningful change; prioritise what will help you feel vital that day based on your well’s level. For a deeper dive into this concept and an inside-out approach to a new era of leading and living, explore Noria.

Rather than adding more to your life, focus on what you can remove. Identify the things that drain your energy, and set firm boundaries around them. Whether it’s unnecessary meetings, unfulfilling commitments, or draining habits, gently but firmly take them off your plate—consider creating a plan to decelerate rather than accelerate. With vitality at the center of your intentions, see what becomes possible when you slow down to speed up. This isn’t about perfection—it’s about creating more space for what truly matters. Downshift is an interesting organisation offering deceleration programs for the high-achiever.

Look for small moments of joy and presence—whether it’s enjoying a cup of tea, taking a walk, or sharing a laugh with a friend. Meaningful moments can be captured in minutes, and remind us that vitality isn’t found only in grand achievements but in simple, everyday pleasures.

“Why” often leads to overanalysis, self-judgment, or frustration. Instead, ask “How.” How can I take the next most aligned step? How can I move forward with grace and presence? This gentle shift opens the door to new possibilities.

While making money is essential, consider ways to resist the endless content creation cycles that burn out well-being. For inspiration, Ashley Neese’s recent article vulnerably explores her relationship with this topic.

I believe that Jennifer Ambrust’s Feminine Economy has the power to change the world. Share ideas, resources, connections, introductions, time, and space with those you trust (maybe even offer someone a ride to or from the airport!). Open your heart to collaboration and interdependence as a means of feeling vitality pulse through you. And as you offer yourself, don’t forget to receive as openly as you give.

Wherever this article finds you—whether ramping up for the new year or navigating your roles as parent, leader, creative, or business owner—may my words bring you hope. Our wells don’t have an endless supply, but we always have the choice to do things differently: to downshift, to slow down, and to have the hard conversations that say no to what depletes us. This fills the collective well, connecting the living, breathing heart within each of us. It’s an act of defiance, and I can’t think of a better way to utilise my reserves.

Speak to Allie

To learn more schedule a complimentary introductory call with Allie. Her boutique, international coaching and consulting practice Allie Stark Wellness supports leaders, entrepreneurs, and creatives to scale heart-forward businesses for greater impact.